Answers.com defines a meltdown as “an emotional breakdown”
Urban Dictionary.com says a meltdown “describes what happens when a person freaks out, cracks, loses control of themselves. Life – reality at large – becomes overwhelming. They just can’t deal with it all. The person may act out, withdraw, become emotional, run, etc.”
Well, today I had my first Ironman training mini meltdown.
Due to a recent foot injury, I had the option of 2.5 hours of aqua jogging or 3 hours of elliptical instead of a normal long run. Shoot me, right? Well I decided elliptical was the way to go because I would access to music, books, tv, my iphone, you name it. I wouldn’t have access to any of those items during aqua jogging. Plus, the 2 pools I normally swim at were closed for maintenance. So, I made my decision and prepared 2 bottles of water, 3 GUs, various sources of entertainment, and headed to the gym. I was mentally prepared to spend 3 hours on the same damn machine from 5-8pm. It was going to happen. I was going to prove to myself (and my coach) that I had enough mental toughness to survive a mundane, boring, elliptical workout. (No offense if you actually like the elliptical.)
The second I started moving on the elliptical, however, I felt pain on the top inside of my right knee. Wtf!? This was the same spot I experienced my first bout of knee pain the second I got off the bike at IMCDA. I limped around for a few days, and then it went away. Then it came back during a couple of bike rides later. Trevor and I addressed it, and it went away. It has been gone for several weeks in fact, so to feel it again now on a machine I never even use just freaked me out.
I tried changing my foot position. I tried changing the resistance. I tried going faster. Slower. Forwards. Backwards. Nothing was working. I had constant knee pain. It didn’t hurt badly enough to make me stop, so I stayed on it longer than I should have. I got off and took a walk around 45 minutes into my session to see how it felt, and it didn’t feel any better. It still hurt when I got back on, so near tears, I finally called it a night. Trevor suggested aqua jogging, but I mandated self pity and rest.
Ironman Cozumel is less than 13 weeks away, so today I let that get to me, and I started to worry. I didn’t have any nagging injuries when I trained for Ironman Coeur d’Alene, so why are they surfacing now!? (It might have something to do with a lack of a break from training, and/or the large amount of stress I put on my body when I was training for IM#1…) I expressed my concerns to Trevor, and I came home and cried to Jeremy. (Just a little.) I iced my knee. I iced my foot. I drank some wine. I watched Grey’s Anatomy on HuluPlus. I attempted to REST. I wish I had gotten through that 3 hour training session, but sometimes rest is the best medicine.
Trevor said that looking ahead will only get me down at this point. I need to look at the week I’m in and make the most of it. We will build back up as fast as my body will allow. I still have a solid base from Ironman #1, and 12+ weeks is enough time to reach my goal of finishing Ironman Cozumel.
Positive thoughts!!